Days of joy for fathers

GeekDad has another reliably interesting list today — Father’s Day Gift Suggestions.

I’m sort of a geek — it’s my fault the boys are fully invested in Star Wars, including the endlessly exciting Lego Star Wars Nintendo game. But, with a nod to GeekDad, I thought I’d put together a list of things that readers of Daddy’s Time blog might have on their gift lists.

So, in no particular order, here is a list of Father’s Day gifts appropriate for the single father or the divorced father, with some overlap between the two:

• A day with the kids, with no travel between houses involved. Just a Father’s Day when we can wake up with our kids in the next bedroom.
• A day free from harassing, attacking or complaining phone calls from the ex. If she wants to call and talk to the kids, thats fine — it’s welcomed. But if the phone conversations are made up of whining and moaning on her end telling a toddler how much she misses him and loves him and is sorry they arent together, then we dont want it.
• A day when the boys are dropped off wearing clothes that are in some way similar to the quality of clothes they left the house wearing. I’m tired of sending them to school in nice pants, collared shirts and underwear that fits only to have them returned in floods and stained shirts.
• A day of kids’ activities, attended by my wife and I as well as the boys’ mom, such as a tee-ball or soccer game, without angry stares, “look at me” loud talking or coddling the boys so much that they dont want to even get on the field.
• One day when my parental decisions arent questioned for the sake of questioning them. Just one.
• A day observed by courts, lawyers and police as one dedicated to the fact that fathers are parents just like mothers.
• One day where I am allowed to keep something more than 60% of my own paycheck instead of handing it over to the boys’ mother, who, along with her live-in boyfriend (as an example), work barely more than one full-time job but nevertheless live in a quaint McMansion in the quiet suburbs.
• Just one day to live in a non-rented home, where we can afford our own landscaping and appliances — a home our sons can brag about to their friends, with a backyard full enough of toys and games, bikes and trampolines.

Father’s Day has always been the second day for parents. And fathers always take a back seat to mothers whenever possible — going to the doctor, going to school, playing sports, going to birthday parties — the list goes on. A nice gift for divorced and single fathers, aside from just a day, would be for people to start seeing us as real parents — unique, competent and happy in our role as guides for our children’s youthful development.

So, with a few weeks to go before the official day, I’d like to extend a warm “Happy Day for Fathers” message to all my readers here and to fathers everywhere.